It’s very common for a person with dementia to call their loved ones multiple times throughout the day and night to ask the same questions. 

And it’s not just a matter of forgetfulness – it happens when your loved one is feeling confused, anxious, or unsure of what’s happening around them. 

The first person they think to turn to for help is usually someone they trust and feel safe with – and if you’re reading this blog, chances are, that person is you. But as much as you care about your loved one and want to help them, these constant calls can be frustrating, especially if you’re at work or in the middle of something important.

The best way to handle these repeated calls is to gently redirect your loved one’s attention away from the call and the conversation. We’ll walk you through a few strategies you can try in this guide.

Offer reassurance

When your loved one calls, don’t try to brush them off or rush the conversation. Really listen to what they’re saying. 

Respond calmly and validate their emotions, even if they’re repeating the same concerns or questions. This can be difficult if you’re busy, but taking the time to listen and respond can actually help you get off the phone more quickly.

Feeling heard and understood can reduce their anxiety and make it easier to gently redirect their attention. If you try to cut the call short too quickly, it can upset them further – and lead to another call soon after.

Looking for more tips on communicating with a loved one with dementia? This article can help.

Gently shift their focus

Once you’ve got your loved one feeling a little more relaxed, try steering the conversation toward something simple and comforting. You might bring up a happy memory or remind them about something coming up, like dinner or a visit.

Even suggesting a small task, like making a cup of tea or watering a plant, can help redirect their attention and ease the urge to keep calling.

Leave a note by their phone 

A simple written note by the phone can help someone with dementia feel calmer and cut down on repeat dialing behavior. 

You might write something like, “I’ll call you after lunch” or “we’ll talk at 6:00 pm.” Having that reminder nearby can be really reassuring when they’re feeling uncertain. 

Don’t forget to sign the note with your name so they remember it’s from you. You can also add a note like, “Call now if it’s a real emergency.” That way, they understand that when it’s really important to reach you, it’s okay to do so.

Get help from modern technology 

These days, technology can help stop unwanted calls. If your loved one has a smartphone, you can set up automatic reminders to let them know when you’ll be calling next. 

You can also use a smart speaker, like Amazon Alexa or Google Home, to announce reminders at set times throughout the day, so they don’t have to worry about when you’ll be in touch.

Ask for help when you need it

Remember, you don’t have to carry this all on your own. You’re part of a bigger support system, and it’s okay to ask others for help from time to time, even for emergency calls.

Reach out to other trusted family members and friends. They can step in and provide that extra support and comfort for your loved one. This can take some of the pressure off you to always be the one answering the phone, helping to protect your mental health. 

Need more tips? Here is a guide on creating a caregiver backup plan.

Try a phone caregiver service

Some people find that a special phone service makes all the difference when dealing with a loved one constantly calling. These services can:

• Set up regular calls: Your loved one gets calls at the same times each day, which can help ease their worry about when they’ll hear from you.
• Send friendly reminders: Automated messages can remind them about meals, appointments, or your next call.
• Offer extra support: Some services even have trained staff who can chat with your loved one, answer questions, or give them reassurance when they’re worried or confused.

The best phone service isn’t meant to replace your care or connection; it’s a helpful tool to give your loved one comfort and give you a little breathing room.

Alert caregivers

If your loved one lives in a care facility or has a caregiver who comes to their home, remember that you’re not in this alone – you have a team! Your loved one’s caregivers are there to support them, and they can be a great resource in managing frequent calls and separation anxiety.

Have a warm, friendly chat with the staff or caregiver about the situation. Let them know what’s happening and ask if they can help by gently engaging your loved one in a calming activity when they start to get restless or anxious. This is the perfect way to make sure your loved one gets the comfort and attention they need in the moment from someone who’s right there with them. 

How Sundara Senior Living can help

Dealing with constant phone calls from a loved one with dementia can be frustrating, and that’s completely understandable. It doesn’t mean you don’t care or have their best interests at heart – it simply means it’s challenging to handle frequent calls when you have other responsibilities.

If you’re finding it difficult to manage your loved one’s needs, it may be a sign that it’s time for a bit more support. A memory care facility is a wonderful solution for many families, ensuring your loved one has the compassionate respite care they need around the clock.

If you live in Round Rock, Texas, our senior living community and our caring staff can offer the support you need. We specialize in creating a warm, home-like environment with personalized dementia care, so both you and your loved one feel comfortable and supported. 

To learn more, simply fill out our online form today. One of our owners is ready to assist you and answer any questions you may have.