Caring for a loved one with dementia is an act of real love, but it’s also one of the hardest things a person can take on. The physical exhaustion, emotional strain, and constant decision-making family caregivers experience can be relentless. 

But dementia doesn’t just change the life of the person diagnosed and the person who cares for them, it affects the relationships of everyone around them.

For spouses, the change from loving husband or wife to full-time caregiver can feel like losing the relationship piece by piece. For adult children, stepping up to care for a parent with dementia can bring up old family dynamics, leading to tension with siblings or stress in their own homes.

Watching someone you love change as they progress through the stages of dementia can bring waves of grief, even while they’re still alive. These changes permeate marriages and sibling relationships, causing further emotional strain.

If you’re feeling the pressure, you’re not alone. 

We’ll discuss the impact dementia caregiving can have on relationships, how to handle these challenges as they arise, and how to get the support you deserve, too.

How dementia caregiving can affect your marriage

Marriage is a partnership built on shared experiences and mutual support. When dementia enters the picture, it can turn your relationship on its head. Suddenly, roles shift, creating a whole new dynamic. 

Sometimes, this can happen so gradually that you don’t even notice it until you look back and see the changes.

You might see your spouse dealing with memory issues, physical health problems, or general cognitive decline. Before you know it, you find yourself managing medications, navigating mood swings, and worrying about an uncertain future.

Becoming a dementia caregiver can affect you and your relationship in a lot of ways, including:

Chronic stress

Caregiver stress is real, and it’s a constant when looking after a loved one. With appointments to keep, medications to manage, symptoms to track, and huge decisions to make, you might be left feeling like you’ve got nothing left to give.

No matter how much you love the person with dementia, the demands of care can be intense, leading to feelings of isolation, frustration, and even resentment.

You’re not a bad person for feeling this way, you’re human. Caregiving is incredibly tough. If you’re feeling the stress, remember you’re doing your best.

Mental health issues

When caregiving for a person with dementia takes all your focus, self-care often gets pushed to the bottom of your priority list. Managing behavior, medications, and your own grief can leave little time for yourself, and your mental health can suffer in the process.

Physical health problems

Being a primary caregiver often means putting your own health on the backburner. But, it’s important to be aware of the health risks that come with this responsibility. 

Studies have shown that spouses of those with dementia are 600% more likely to develop dementia or Alzheimer’s disease themselves. In the midst of caregiving, preventive health behaviors like exercise, healthy eating, and stress-reducing coping strategies are often overlooked. 

Prioritizing your well-being is essential to both your own health and your ability to care for your loved one.

Financial strain

You want to provide the best possible care to your loved one, but it can become a real financial burden. Many family caregivers end up cutting back on work or even quitting their jobs to focus on their loved one’s needs, while the cost of care adds up. 

Related: Is financial help for dementia care available?

Aside from the basics like getting enough sleep and eating healthy, there are other ways you can look after yourself to avoid exhaustion.

Scheduling time to spend with friends or other family members can help refill your cup. Don’t forget to make time for your hobbies too, it’s a reminder that you’re more than just a caregiver. 

Whether it’s making time to get stuck into your new book or getting out for a walk, these moments are what’ll recharge your body and mind.

Sibling challenges and conflict

As caregiving responsibilities grow, sibling dynamics can also change. While you and your siblings are adults with your own lives, caring for a parent with dementia can quickly bring old tensions to the surface. 

The stress of caregiving often leads to disagreements over responsibilities, financial issues, and care decisions, challenging even the strongest relationships.

Some common problems include:

Uneven load 

Some siblings may take on more responsibility, leaving others feeling guilty or left out. Meanwhile, the sibling under the most pressure may start to feel resentful and undersupported. 

Differing opinions on the best way to care for a loved one can also spark disagreements, especially when emotions run high.

Old dynamics resurfacing

No matter how old you are, it’s easy to slip back into childhood roles when you’re with your siblings. Old tensions can be triggered, bringing unresolved issues and past hurts to the surface. 

It can be scary watching the parent you know so well fade in front of you. These emotions can make simple decisions feel much more complicated and make effective communication tough.

When you’re collaborating on care with your siblings, it helps to focus on clear, open communication. Acknowledge each person’s feelings and perspectives, even if you don’t agree. 

Set clear boundaries, divide responsibilities fairly, and focus on the shared goal – providing the best care for your loved one. 

It may also help to involve a neutral third party to help everyone stay focused on the bigger picture.

Related: Dementia care is a family affair

Getting support as a family caregiver

Whether you’re caring for a parent, or you’ve become your spouse’s carer, it’s important to get the support you need so you don’t burn out. Therapy, caregiver support groups, and respite care are valuable resources that can help ease the burden. 

Therapy

Therapy gives you a safe space to process the difficult emotions that come with caregiving. It can help you process feelings of grief, stress, and frustration while offering practical ways to cope and keep your well-being intact.

Support services 

The Alzheimer’s Association offers fantastic resources for family carers, including in-person and online support groups. You’ll find valuable tips, advice, and a community of people who truly understand what you’re going through, helping you feel less alone.

Respite care 

Respite care provides a much-needed break while ensuring your loved one is still getting the care they need. Whether it’s in-home help, adult day programs, or short-term residential care, respite services give you a chance to rest and take care of yourself.

When you need a hand, we’re here

We understand that caregiving can be an emotionally and physically draining journey for you and your family. 

Sundara Senior Living is the trusted source for dementia care in Round Rock, Texas. We’re a locally owned and operated memory care community, and we pride ourselves on taking a personalized approach to care. 

Enjoy the peace of mind of knowing your family member is in the best hands with our team.

We’re here to help. Reach out today to see how we can support you and your family.