Clear communication is key to any healthy relationship. But when someone you care for develops dementia, it completely changes everything. 

Living with dementia affects everyone differently, but it typically involves a decline in cognitive abilities, which can impact memory, thinking, and reasoning. As the illness progresses, they may become increasingly confused, forget names and faces, and struggle to keep up with conversations. This can be a difficult time – especially for family caregivers – and you may need to find new ways to communicate.

By taking the time to learn new ways to connect with your patient or loved one, you can maintain a strong, healthy relationship while easing some of the stress of your role as caregiver. 

How to communicate with someone with dementia

Struggling to understand each other can be frustrating, but approaching the situation with patience is critical. To help, we’ve created a list of communication strategies to follow, so whether you’re a spouse, child, or caregiver, you can use these tips to effectively communicate with someone living with dementia.

Be patient

When someone has dementia, and you’re doing your best to care for and connect with them, confusion and misunderstandings can be frustrating for everyone involved. But take a deep breath and try to stay calm. Patience can make all the difference when either of you are feeling overwhelmed. 

If they can’t remember something, give them time to think. It’s natural to want to jump in and help when they have difficulty finding the right word or to remember what they wanted to say. Instead of trying to finish their sentence – which could confuse them more – use the 10-second rule to give the person plenty of time to gather their thoughts and try to respond.

Focus on one thing at a time

It can be difficult for someone with dementia to focus on several different topics or details at once. Instead, try to stick to one topic at a time. When asking questions, avoid giving a multitude of options. For example, instead of asking if they want water, tea, or coffee, simply ask if they would like water first. If they say no, then ask if they would like tea, etc. Asking close-ended questions usually works best.

Limit distractions

Trying to have a conversation with loud music or a TV on in the background can be tricky for anyone, let alone someone who’s dealing with dementia. Find a quiet space with minimal distractions where you can engage with them one-on-one and make them feel safe and heard. If it helps, eliminate background noise, and avoid overly crowded spaces that could potentially overwhelm them if possible. 

Non-verbal communication (like body language)

Never underestimate the power of non-verbal communication with someone who has dementia. Dementia patients can often understand non-verbal cues – like a person’s body language – and sometimes express their own thoughts more clearly with body language than with spoken words.

Engaging in active listening – things like maintaining eye contact, nodding, and smiling – are reassuring to people with dementia. Gestures, movements, and facial expressions are all ways of getting your message across without having to say a word. 

Avoid closed-off postures (crossed arms or legs, for example), and try not to make any sudden or abrupt movements that could frighten them. Something as simple as holding the person’s hand will reassure them and put them at ease. 

And if you’re struggling to understand their words, take note of their facial expression, hand gestures, or movements. They may be saying a lot without speaking.

Speak clearly

When talking to a person with dementia, speak slowly and clearly, use simple language, and always finish your sentences. Don’t assume that someone with dementia can figure out what you’re trying to say. Keep your sentences short and sweet, and allow the person time to fully digest what you’re saying.

Know when to redirect

If you notice that the person you’re caring for is getting increasingly irritated or having difficulty understanding a conversation, it might be time to gently redirect and move on to something else. This could mean changing the conversation topic or engaging them in something like going for a walk. The aim is to redirect them to a place they feel emotionally safe, and to do so in a way that doesn’t make them feel dismissed. 

Acknowledge them

There’ll be times when your loved one may say something that doesn’t bear any reference to the conversation you were just having, or something related but entirely inaccurate. In times like these, it’s usually best not to correct them, but you don’t have to ignore what they’ve said, either. Even if it doesn’t answer your question, acknowledge their answer and make them feel heard. Encourage them to engage as much as possible without pushing them.

Recall good memories

Often, people with dementia struggle with their short-term memory, but may have no issue remembering something that happened 30 years ago. Use this as a means of getting them engaged in conversation. Spark up a conversation about a fond childhood memory and let them talk freely.

Related: Finding Joy Amidst the Dementia Journey

Include them 

If you’re talking with someone else, don’t block them out. Instead, encourage them to engage in conversations with others. Dementia can be a very lonely disease, and including them in conversations can help them feel more see, less isolated, and better in-touch with their sense of identity.

Reaching out for support

Learning the best way to communicate with someone with dementia will take time, and it’ll be different from patient to patient. You may need to adjust as you go, so be patient in your approach, and you’ll find a communication strategy that works best for you and the person you care for.

If you find that you’re struggling under the pressure of caring for someone with dementia, you don’t have to face it all on your own. 

Sundara Senior Living is here to help when you need it. We’re the trusted source for dementia care in Round Rock, Texas, providing a small memory care community that prides itself on taking a personalized approach to care. 

With the dedicated team of healthcare professionals at Sundara Senior Living, you get peace of mind that your loved one is in the best possible hands. If you’d like to learn more about how we can support you and your family, reach out to us today.